Monday, February 4, 2013

Joke of the Day: A guy is driving around Wadsworth, Ohio and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. 
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. 
"Yep," the Lab replies. 
"So, what's your story?" 
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." 
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. 
"Ten dollars," the guy says. 
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?" 
"Because he's a habitual liar - he never did any of that stuff."

Useless Fact: Experts say kissing a child's boo boo really does make it better. The child believes the pain will stop and that triggers the release of pain killing endorphins.  

Drive Time Devotion: Read: Matthew 18:15-20

Let not mercy and truth forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. —Proverbs 3:3

The police in San Diego received complaints from a woman who said she was getting annoying phone calls. In the middle of the night a person would phone her, bark like a dog, and then hang up. Police eventually discovered that the source of the calls was a neighbor. He said that whenever he was awakened by the barking of her dog, he wanted to make sure she was awake too.
The neighbor's approach certainly didn't express the wisdom of God. The Scriptures tell us that it is often necessary to face a problem head-on (Matthew 18:15-20). At the right time and for the sake of all parties involved, an honest discussion is part of the solution.
Yet such a loving, open approach is not usually followed among Christians. Rather than trusting God and walking into a tense situation with a clear conscience and a desire for peace, we tend to play games. Hints are dropped. Affection is withheld. Conversation is abbreviated. The air gets chilly, and ice forms around a situation that can only be melted by a wise combination of mercy and truth (Proverbs 3:3).
Our complaints against others cannot be smoothed over by burying our anger. If a problem is not small enough to overlook graciously, then let's talk about it. —Mart De Haan

If you can't forgive a brother
For the wrong he's done to you,
Go to him and talk it over—
That's the Christian thing to do. —D. De Haan

The best way to destroy your enemy is to make him your friend.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Joke of the Day: Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads Jack's last will and testament: "To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and one million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my big Lexus and the Jaguar. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my sun lamp."

Useless Fact: A study by MSN.com found that having a wife for 50 years costs the average man $590,400 in restaurant dinners, vacations and gifts.

Drive Time Devotion: 
An old missionary couple had been working in Africa for years and were returning to New York to retire. They had no pension; their health was broken; they were defeated, discouraged, and afraid. They discovered they were booked on the same ship as President Teddy Roosevelt, who was returning from one of his big-game hunting expeditions. 
No one paid any attention to them. They watched the fanfare that accompanied the President's entourage, with passengers trying to catch a glimpse of the great man. As the ship moved across the ocean, the old missionary said to his wife, "Something is wrong." 
"Why should we have given our lives in faithful service for God in Africa all these many years and have no one care a thing about us? Here this man comes back from a hunting trip and everybody makes much over him, but nobody gives two hoots about us." 
"Dear, you shouldn't feel that way", his wife said. 
He replied "I can't help it; it doesn't seem right." 
When the ship docked in New York, a band was waiting to greet the President. The mayor and other dignitaries were there. The papers were full of the President's arrival. No one noticed this missionary couple. They slipped off the ship and found a cheap flat on the East Side, hoping the next day to see what they could do to make a living in the city. 
That night the man's spirit broke. He said to his wife, "I can't take this; God is not treating us fairly". 
His wife replied, "Why don't you go in the bedroom and tell that to the Lord?" 
A short time later he came out from the bedroom, but now his face was completely different. His wife asked, "Dear, what happened?" 
"The Lord settled it with me", he said. "I told Him how bitter I was that the President should receive this tremendous homecoming, when no one met us as we returned home. And when I finished, it seemed as though the Lord put His hand on my shoulder and simply said; 
"But you're not home yet."

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Joke of the Day: During Maria’s brother's wedding, her mother managed to keep from crying until she glanced at her grandparents. Maria’s grandmother had reached over to her grandfather's wheelchair and gently touched his hand. That was all it took to start her mother's tears flowing. After the wedding, her mother went over to her grandmother and told her how that tender gesture triggered her outburst. "Well, I'm sorry to ruin your moment," Grandmother replied, "but I was just checking to see if he was still alive."

Useless Fact: In 1952, Queen Elizabeth was named Time magazine's "Man Of The Year."

Drive Time Devotion: When Jacob wrestled with the angel at Peniel, the angel tried to overpower him. He knew that unless he could break Jacob’s stubborn and deceptive will, Jacob would never attain greatness in God. 
Jesus told His disciples in Matthew 11:29, “Take my yoke upon you,” an obvious statement of learning the “rest” of submission. You will not go very far with God until you allow Him to subdue your drive, energies, ambitions, and passions. When He wins that battle over you, the “rest” of God will follow. 
Later in Jacob’s struggle, he held on to the angel of the Lord, forcefully pressing in for a blessing from the One who had subdued him. Jesus told His disciples that “the Kingdom of Heaven has been forcefully advancing, and violent people attack it” (Matthew 11:12). 
God wants you to rest in your flesh and be forceful in your spirit! That balance changed Jacob from a trickster to a prince with God. 
--By Larry Stockstill

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Joke of the Day: A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."

Useless Fact: Whether you tend to sit or stand may make a difference of up to 350 calories a day, researchers at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, report. Overweight people in the study spend about two and a half extra hours daily chair bound than did their lean counterparts. Give up your seat on the bus or rise when you answer the phone; it may mean a more fit you.

Drive Time Devotion: Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness, where for forty days he was tempted by the devil. – Luke 4:1-2
Part of our human experience involves temptation. Many have said that in order for Jesus to truly be our savior, he had to experience all of our human emotions and feelings. Temptation is one of those human experiences Jesus had to experience. 
The problem is that there are simply too many temptations in life. Here are a few of them: Mae West says that whenever she had to choose between two evils, she picked the one she hadn't tried yet. 
"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning," said one, "sleep late." 
A lawyer and his client are sitting in the law office and the client says to the lawyer, "The question of right and wrong is very clear. I want you to cloud it up for me." 
Yes, there is temptation all around us, but we don't have to give in to it.
Forgiving God, help me to not be led into temptation, but help me to live a holy life for you. Amen.
--Author Unknown

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

DRIVE-TIME DEVOTION

ON CREAKY KNEES
Read: Psalm 116
Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live. --Psalm 116:2
Meet Margaret the battler. More than 90 years of memories and faith are her legacy, but she's not ready to surrender. Her life is full of the physical pain that often accompanies old age, and even though she's too weak to walk anymore, Margaret is not done with her ministry.
Despite her increasing feebleness, and despite her near deafness and inability to move around, Margaret has a ministry that reaches far beyond the walls of the nursing home where she lives. Every day--often for hours at a time--she sits in her chair with a stack of prayer cards and prays diligently for missionaries. And sometimes, when she can push her frail body to do so, she kneels beside her bed on creaky knees to talk with God.
Margaret doesn't have much more than prayer to offer her Lord. She is the essence of the answer to the question in Psalm 116:12, "What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits toward me?" Verse 13 answers, "I will . . . call upon the name of the Lord."
A lifetime of being sustained by God's love, grace, and mercy is just about over for Margaret. In the face of mounting physical weakness, she is staying spiritually strong to the end. O to have her courage and dedication--at any age!
(From Campus Journal)

Monday, September 15, 2012

DRIVE-TIME DEVOTION

NO MORE EXCUSES
Read: Ezekiel 18:1-18
The soul who sins shall die. —Ezekiel 18:4
When salmon travel hundreds of miles up rivers and streams to spawn, they are acting on instinct. They are in a sense being driven by an uncontrollable force.
I read about a young convict who thinks that human conduct is similar to that of the salmon. Referring to the murders he committed and to his own fate, he said, "Things just happen." He thinks some kind of force was responsible for his pulling the trigger and killing two people. But he is wrong. Man is free and cannot blame his sinful actions on an uncontrollable force such as instinct.
More than 2,500 years ago, some Israelites were using a similar excuse for their sin. They quoted a well-known proverb that placed the blame for their sins on their ancestors (Ezekiel 18:2). But God told them they were wrong. He said that a good man will not be punished for the sins of a wicked son. Nor will a godly son be punished for the sins of his evil father.
Make no mistake. No matter what your situation, you are responsible for what you do. Stop offering excuses for your sins. Instead, acknowledge your guilt to God and accept the forgiveness He offers (Psalm 32:5). That's the first step in exercising your individual responsibility. —Herb Vander Lugt

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Birthday Verse of the Day: 

Romans 8:15 NIV = For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

Today in History:

1911: Procter & Gamble of Cincinnati introduced Crisco hydrogenated shortening.

1939: The film Wizard of Oz premiered at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood.

1999: Tiger Woods won the PGA Championship, the youngest player to win two majors since Seve Ballesteros.

1456: The Gutenberg Bible, the first book printed from a movable type, was dated by hand. Printed by the German Johann Gutenberg, its exact date of publication is unknown. Gutenberg probably printed about 180 copies, of which 20 complete copies are extant. The Gutenberg Bible is the oldest surviving printed book in Europe.